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The Church is full of singles who long for marriage, who dream of building a home according to God. But why so many mistakes, so many disappointments, so much suffering? Why do some, who expected a fulfilling marital life, find themselves trapped in broken and conflict-ridden unions? It’s because many do not understand what marriage according to God truly is! They’ve been conditioned by society, deformed by the failures they’ve witnessed around them, and influenced by a carnal culture that has perverted the divine image of the union between a man and a woman. But today, God wants to tear down these strongholds and restore His truth!
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16)
God is love. Everything He does is rooted in love. Yet, we are living in a time where marriage has become a pursuit of lust, personal satisfaction, and possession—no longer a stage to express the Father’s love. Many want to get married without understanding that divine union is a calling, a ministry, a mission, and a heavenly strategy to manifest Christ on the earth.
There are singles who hate their status. They believe they are incomplete, in waiting, on hold. But what does the Word say?
An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. (1 Corinthians 7:32)
God has ordained a time of singleness as a time of strengthening, of closeness with Him—a time when the believer can, without distraction, devote themselves to their spiritual mission. Before you think about marriage, use your season of singleness to grow in Christ! A single person who hasn’t been rooted in the Word and prayer before marriage brings their weaknesses into the home. They seek in marriage a fullness that only the Creator can give them.
How many men and women have rushed into a relationship thinking it would fill their inner void, heal their wounds, or satisfy their thirst for love? Marriage does not heal! It is God who heals! It is your intimacy with the Lord that restores your soul! Until you understand this, you risk projecting onto your spouse expectations they will never be able to fulfill. That is the truth. That is why so many homes are failing. Because unhealed people believed that marriage would solve their problems, when in reality, it just exposed them.
Everyone wants the right person. No one wants to marry a man or a woman who will become a burden, a weight, a pain in their life. But the key is not in searching, it’s in attracting!
The real question is not “how to find the right person,” but “how to become the right person.” The spiritual law is simple: you attract what you are. If your heart is filled with anxiety, bitterness, unhealed wounds, impurity, pride, don’t be surprised if you attract someone carrying the same burdens! For every man draws to himself what he is in the spirit.
Look at Adam: he didn’t go looking for Eve! He was busy with his mission, his work, he was obeying God, and it was God Himself who brought Eve to him. When you are immersed in your communion with God, focused on your mission and your calling, it is God who draws to you the person He has prepared.
If you want to attract a man or woman of value, work on yourself! Be sanctified, seek the fear of God, be a man or woman of integrity, and that’s how you’ll attract someone who bears the same spiritual DNA.
But this is where many fail. They go after appearance, they want the carnal, the visible, the alluring. But beauty is vain, and only the one who carries the heart of God can build a relationship that will bear fruit! That’s why it is vital to examine not the face, but the heart. The inside precedes the outside.
Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.” He saw the inside before the outside! What you want to build with a person is not just physical attraction! What you want to build is a home that will withstand the storms of life.
Many get married based on false foundations:
Loneliness is not solved by marriage! We know married people who are extremely lonely.
Marriage does not heal emotional wounds! If you hope to be healed through a marriage, you’re going to place on it a weight it can never carry.
Marriage, according to God, rests on three pillars:
A man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife. (Genesis 2:24)
Marriage is a war. It is a battlefield in the spirit realm.
Why are there so many divorces? Because it is not merely a social union; it is also a platform of confrontation between spiritual inheritances. What you bring with you, from your father’s and mother’s sides, will directly affect your covenant. If you were in chains, you will chain the other.
Father, I refuse to enter into marriage carrying hidden burdens. I refuse to bring into my household ancestral ties that want to destroy my destiny and that of my future spouse. Deliver me from every negative spiritual inheritance. Sanctify my heart and purify my spirit. Help me discern the person You have appointed for me, not the one my emotions want to force. Break every false conception of marriage that has been influenced by the world and reveal to me Your perfect plan. In the mighty name of Jesus! Amen.
Lord Jesus, I give You my life. Be my Savior and my Lord. Lead me in the path of truth and transform me by Your love. Amen.
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